A sister sent this question: “My question is: How to get a husband if I’m a girl?”
Assalamu Alaykum Sister,
Thank you for the question and for contacting Sunna Files Website.
This is an important question and sometimes people have some misconceptions about it, so it’s essential to discuss it. Primarily, women in Islam are highly valued, honored, dignified and protected. Allah chose women to be the carriers of life into existence and this is an honorable mission. Essentially, everything we discuss needs to put the woman’s dignity and honor in consideration. With regard to your question: how to get a husband if I’m a girl?
Five Important Tips
First of all, you need to eliminate any type of thinking or acting that would jeopardize your honor, respect, and dignity.
There is a misconception among some women that they have to overly adorn and beautify themselves and go out in social hubs to seek husbands or appeal to seekers.
That’s utterly humiliating and degrading to women.
You do not need and you are not required to do that to get a husband.
Remember that spouses are rizq (sustenance) that Allah provides for us and He is capable of facilitating that even if there are no means available.
The most important thing is for us to have taqwa (mindfulness of Allah and respect to His Limits).
So as a woman, what you need to do is:
Tip 1
1- Primarily ask Allah in sincere and heartfelt dua’a that you wish to get married to purify yourself and have the love, support and care you deserve in your life. So dua’a is highly essential.
Tip 2
2- Remember that Allah says: “…And whoever fears Allah (has taqwa) – He will make for him a way out- And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent.” (Quran 65: 2-3)
So you need to work on your taqwa and purification.
When we have taqwa, Allah opens doors of halal and pure provision for us. That’s guaranteed.
So do not cross limits, commit sins or acts of disobedience thinking that this will get you what you want.
This is never a means to earn something halal, pure, everlasting or pleasing to Allah Glorified and Exalted.
Tip 3
3- Try to learn more about the purpose of marriage.
Many people wish to get married to fulfill certain needs or urges, but soon after they get married and these issues are fulfilled, they find emptiness, lack of satisfaction or compatibility.
So try to understand marriage in Islam; its beautiful and honorable purpose and the balanced rights and duties of both husbands and wives.
This will get you ready and help you have the right mindset and make you an even better and more supportive wife.
Tip 4
4- If you do know someone in your circles who is widely known for his righteousness, then ask your mahram (male guardian) to communicate with him and discuss the marriage.
Try not to approach the person alone so as not to humiliate or degrade yourself.
Always maintain your dignity and honor, seek the proper protocol Allah has instructed so that you’d always be protected and not harmed in any way.
Tip 5
5- You can allow trustworthy family members to find a suitable match for you.
The person who would come through proper official means is the one who has taqwa and he is most likely a better candidate in the long run than the one who comes through the back door (i.e. seeking the woman inappropriately without reaching out officially to her family).
