As-Salamu Alaykum, I have this problem with frequently forgetting things. I used to memorize long parts from the Qur’an when I was much younger, around 9-11 years old. I used to be very good at it, but now memorizing a verse of the Qur’an is like trying to memorize a whole chapter. I used to watch porn when I was in secondary school, which I have repented, but I still cannot stop masturbating. Please, advise me on how to get my memory working well again, because I want to memorize the Qur’an.
As-Salamu ‘Alaikum,
I am very happy that you wrote in to address your concern about your memory. First, I assure you that a short-term memory problem is in no way related to sexual activity of any kind.
Please remember how wonderful and merciful our Lord is; whatever mistakes we make, once we have corrected them, they no longer define us. We are not the mistakes of our past. If we learn from our mistakes, we become wise and mature. With that said, move forward, focus on your current goals, open up and enjoy life today.
The memory problem is a condition of the mind. There are a few possible causes of memory problems in teenagers and young adults.
Memory problems in all ages can result from depression or anxiety.
Also, if a person is simply distracted and has his mind on other things, it will be difficult to focus on what is before him.
A new and emerging condition called “digital dementia” is getting the attention of mental health practitioners and is especially common among teens and young adults in their 20s.
Over-dependence on technology is causing an overall underuse of the mind to remember basic things.
We can refer to our digital notes, and information stored on our phones and computers, and we are texting and messaging instead of talking to people face to face.
When these activities replace speaking face to face and committing to memory every day to do tasks, etc., the mind forgets how to remember.
Interestingly, the very same environmental issue of overusing technology can also be the culprit in many cases of depression and anxiety that young people are experiencing.
Although you have the allusion that you are connecting (and in reality, you are connecting with others on some levels), if the overuse of technology results in very few literal face-to-face interactions with friends and loved ones, we can become depressed.
Our physiology is made to respond positively to being in close physical proximity to other people. Our body, mind, and emotions are all connected.
Therefore, we MUST spend time with friends and loved ones. We MUST spend time talking, playing games together and sharing vital connecting information with each other…face to face.
To improve your memory, make sure that you are engaged in some community organization of your choice.
If you are at school, join one of the extracurricular activities and make some good friends. If possible, spend time with your family at least weekly. And of course, attend the Friday prayer and engage with other men. This will keep your mind stimulated.
Now, we also want to re-train your memory and teach your mind how to remember again. This is no different than if you used to play the piano, or you used to ride a bicycle, but you have not engaged in those activities for a very long time. You have to start over, but it is easier to learn the second time around because you still have the original neuropathways that you created when you learned the first time.
So, make this fun. Take one short surah of your choice. Spend 10 minutes 3 times a day saying it over and over for 30 days. At the end of 30 days, you will have that surah memorized. Now, the next month, find a surah that is just slightly longer but not much.
Spend 10 minutes a day 3 times a day memorizing it, but this time try to say the first surah at least once a day. Now, stay with the short ones until memorizing short surahs becomes easy for you. Find 3 -5 that are especially meaningful for you and begin learning a new one each month for 5 months.
In the 6th month, practice all of them by rotating them and choosing two per day for 30 days, so by the end of it, you will have memorized 3-5 surahs. An additional trick to make learning easier is to put the surahs to a tune. For that, choose your favourite reciter and listen to his recitation over and over till the surah is stuck in your mind.
If you try these techniques while making sure that you engage with friends and family and do not overuse technology, you should experience some improvement in your short-term memory.
If the problem persists, then you might have a medical condition that requires medical attention.
If after a couple of months, you do not feel like your thinking is clearer and that you are able to remember things and memorize things better, please see a medical doctor and rule a more serious medical condition out.
I pray that my advice is helpful to you.
